The Need To Be PERFECT –
the perfect mother...wife...lover...friend...homemaker...breadwinner...family member...
Hmmm....anyone felt this way before?
I am sure you could add a few more titles yourself! We fix, we help, we assist, we clean, we take care of, we support, we raise children, we cook, we work, we love, we get ANGRY, we get sad, we...EVERYTHING!!
Where do WE exist??
We are circus jugglers ALL the time. Imagine juggling knives or putting blazing sticks of fire in our mouths, it would be dangerous to OTHER people! Hahahha…kind of funny if you have the visual. Of course, with juggling so many things at the same time, it is not for the entertainment of others but, what we do to survive.
Many times we are working so hard to make so many things work, that we are balancing on a delicate tightrope. If we stopped trying to please everyone and stopped trying to be perfect at so many things - we could be ourselves. Good at some things and not good at other things.
What a simple concept! And yet, so hard to actually do. I know.....I was broke with a baby who's biological father was not involved. I was DESPERATE to be a great mother and a great provider. I HAD to be good at EVERYTHING - in my mind. All I could think of was, “how I was going to take care of my daughter and make a good life for us.” I didn't exist for many years, even now I get "lost" in my effort for her and for others. Thank goodness I didn't take up juggling knives or breathing fire!
When I say "BE" yourself, I don't mean taking to the couch and eating Cheetos in front of the TV. Save those moments (if you are able to have those) for your private time.
What I mean to BE, is to take action, to do something different than what you are already doing.
Maybe like me, you have no child care you can afford. Well, a way to get creative is to "trade" hours with a neighbor. Take their kids and have them take yours in order to give you both the "time" you need to do what’s important for you. This is a way you can "BE" what you want.
If you are a working woman, and many have these child care challenges, try doing something different. I did exactly this with my daughter when she was growing up. As working women and mothers, we are torn in many directions, so if we aren't careful, we end up being emotionally and mentally paralyzed......and unable to do what our hearts desire.
We women - we working women....are strong...smart...committed....and yes, overwhelmed.....(are you any of those things?)
So quickly begin to establish routines that will help you be your best no matter what hat you may be wearing. Oh and remember to give up on being perfect. There is no such thing as perfection.
Get to being you, that's all, JUST YOU!
Remember, if you shoot for the moon and miss, you are still among the stars!
Valerie Fitzgerald
